Nothing - literally nothing - beats a good steak, but for something so simple, it's very easy to get it wrong. The basic calculation is: the more expensive the cut, the better. And the more cooked it is, the worse it will be. Two flawed pieces of logic.
The truth is, there are many, many variables, ranging from where the beef was reared to the ambience of the restaurant, and everything in between. What did the cow eat before it was butchered? Has the meat been dry aged? If so, for how long? Was it grilled over coals or fried in a skillet? Perhaps it was reverse-seared? Sous-vided? And then there are the sides, the sauces, and, of course, the bill, which is the real test for great steak. Was that Sirloin really worth £82? Or would the bavette have been better value?
Too many questions for a simple piece of meat, surely. Which is why we've taken the trouble to collate the definitive list of London steak restaurants. If it isn't here, it isn't worth visiting.
It's almost 18 years since the first Hawksmoor steakhouse opened in Spitalfields, but boy has the empire grown since then. There are eight locations in London alone, with further Hawksmoors dotted across the UK, and in Dublin, New York and Chicago. In London, all the beef is free range, grass or hay-fed, from small UK farms - the best in the world, says Hawksmoor - and in addition to individual steaks, you can order larger cuts by the gram.
What to order: Chateaubriand for two, half a lobster, anchovy hollandaise.
Locations: Air Street, Borough, Guildhall, Knightsbridge, Seven Dials, Spitalfields, Wood Wharf, The Lowback; thehawksmoor.com
A relative up-and-comer on the London steak scene, Blacklock has five locations in the capital, but its soul is firmly rooted in Cornwall. The Warren family have been rearing and butchering native and rare breed cattle in the south-west since the 1800s, and to this day, their herds wander the rolling hills, eating to their hearts' content. Dry-aged up to 55 days, Blacklock's steak menu is compact but comprehensive, and it's worth exploring the 'chop' menu, which features a brilliant lamb T-bone. The burger is one of the best in town, too.
What to order: The Denver cut, heavy on the marbling and rich in beefy flavour.
Locations: Soho (24 Great Windmill Street, W1D 7LG); City (13 Philpot Lane, EC3M 8AA); Shoreditch (28-30 Rivington Street, EC2A 3DZ); Covent Garden (16a Bedford Street, WC2E 9HE); Canary Wharf (5 Frobisher Passage, E14 4AA); theblacklock.com
Do you want to be part of a "new generation" of meat eaters? Well if so, restaurateur Misha Zelman wants to serve you. This is the best place in town to not only eat great steak, but to learn about it, too. The menu is super-diverse, featuring cuts from the UK, USA, Canada, Australia, Japan and beyond, and you can even request your steak be cooked directly on the coals, or on a scalding-hot axe head. (We'll let the waiter explain why that's a good thing.)
What to order: The Zelman Plate features four different cuts of steak, each from a different country.
Location: 5th Floor, 109-125 Knightsbridge Harvey Nichols, London SW1X 7RJ; zelmanmeats.com
Clerkenwell's QCH is brilliant for a number of reasons - the weekday set-lunch, and the Sunday roast, for example - but, unsurprisingly, its chops are where it most excels. The restaurant is one of London's last surviving Victorian chop houses (in operation for over 150 years) and the current management have deftly guided it into the upper echelons of city's food scene, adding a cafe-cum-butcher's shop next door, and serving feasting menus in the private dining room upstairs.
What to order: Aberdeen Angus bone-in sirloin and a bottle of Château Marjosse Cuvee Ortolan
Location: 92-94 Farringdon Rd, London EC1R 3EA; thequalitychophouse.com
For those looking to save a buck or two, Flat Iron has to be the go-to. Using meat from the best small producers across the UK, its various spots around town offer just one cut of steak - the flat iron - with a few specials here and there. Otherwise known as the 'featherblade', the 'patio' steak and even the 'butler's' steak, flat iron is taken from the shoulder of the cow, and features heavy marbling, allowing for maximum beefy flavour for a lower price than the 'prime' cuts.
What to order: For £16, you really can't go wrong with the flat iron, and be sure to order the creamed spinach.
Locations: Kensingon, Soho, Covent Garden, Tottenham Court Road, London Bridge, Borough, Kings Cross, Marylebone, Shoreditch, Westfield, Spitalfields, Waterloo; flatironsteak.co.uk
The USP at Temper is that they butcher the meat in-house, allowing for greater efficiency and less waste. (It also means when each cut is gone, it's gone - no pre-packaged steaks hiding in the fridge.) "Our meat is some of the best money can buy," reads the website, "and the effort we put into our in house butchery and sourcing means the consistency of product is second to none." Take a seat at the bar and watch the team at work amongst the spark and sizzle of the open kitchen.
What to order: Start with a cheeseburger taco, then explore the ever-changing steak menu and try something new. A picanha, maybe.
Locations: Soho (25 Broadwick Street, W1F 0DF); Covent Garden (5 Mercer Walk, Mercers Yard, WC2H 9FA); City (2 Angel Court, 30 Throgmorton Street, EC2R 7HJ); Shoreditch (78 Great Eastern St, EC2A 3JL); temperrestaurant.com/
You'll know you're in the right place when you see the queue. LRDV has boomed in popularity over the past few years, partly for its accessible pricing, partly for its double-servings of steak-frites, but mainly for the fact that it's completely delicious. Perfectly cooked entrecote steak (a boneless variation of the rib-eye), golden, crispy chips and a rich, tart green sauce, with the option of a dressed salad. That's it. The meal is split, so when you finish your first round, they simply bring you the same again.
What to order: There is only one option, really, but there are scores of classic French desserts, so try to save some room.
Locations: Marylebone (120 Marylebone Lane, W1U 2QG) and City (5 Throgmorton Street, EC2N 2AD); relaisdevenise.com
This is one of the best spots in town for Friday beers, and it ranks highly for good Guinness, but the dining room at the Guinea Grill is well worth a visit, too. The menu is stuffed with hearty brasserie classics - steak tartare, oysters, prawn cocktail etc - and the array of steaks, sold by weight, are offered with a selection of charmingly Dickensian sides. Haggis, for example, or a pair of lamb kidneys. Be sure to come hungry, thirsty, and with a free morning-after to recover.
What to order: two pints of Guinness, sirloin on the bone with brandy peppercorn sauce and peas, bacon and baby onions. Maybe some Rennie to finish.
Location: 30 Bruton Pl, London W1J 6NL, theguinea.co.uk
Hill & Szrok, Hackney
A butcher's shop by day and restaurant by night - an extremely meaty place to be.
Sophie's Steakhouse, Soho
Great when you want a steak, and a bit of a party, too. Great cocktails, solid Sunday roasts.
Buen Ayre, Hackney
A mainstay of the London restaurant scene, Buen Ayre offers the best Argentinian beef and great south-American sides.