Trying to plan a wedding and including your parents who do not get along or are split up can be really stressful. It's hard to please everyone, and it's not an ideal time to get wrapped up in drama.
One woman is distraught after her father threatened not to attend her wedding reception because he can't have six of his friends there.
She's 33-years-old and getting married in the fall. They're paying for the wedding themselves, so she's been busy planning. Additionally, she's been dealing with a lot of stress, as trying to plan her wedding and accommodating her divorced parents has brought up some issues.
Her parents divorced six years ago, and her dad is still very bitter about the situation even though he's been with his new partner for the last five years. When she told him last year that her mom would attend the wedding, he said she "trashed his reputation" and said he wouldn't go to the wedding if her mom were there.
"My fiancé kindly spoke with him about how hurt I was that he wouldn't be attending, and he agreed to come on a few conditions," she explained.
"The first condition is that my mother doesn't approach him or his partner. I spoke with my mother, and she agreed it would be for the best."
Her dad's second rule is what's giving her pause. He requested to be able to invite six of his friends to her wedding so he could "feel safe."
She finds this very excessive, especially because her dad will already have more friends and relatives at the wedding than her mom. For instance, not only will his partner be with him, but so will his sister, his two other daughters, and some of his partner's family.
Additionally, she wants a small wedding of only 60-70 guests and doesn't feel comfortable adding another six people to the list. She told her dad she'd speak to her fiancé and let him know their decision.
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After thinking things over for a while with her fiancé, she decided her dad would be allowed to invite four friends. She sent out the invites to everyone on the original guest list and set her the ones for her dad's friends aside so she could talk to him about the situation in person.
"Life gets away from us, and I am worried about bringing up the topic with my dad after he reacted so terribly the last time I spoke with him," she explained.
"My fiancé offers to email my dad to let him know our decision."
After seeing her email, her dad called her and freaked out. He told her that because she "delayed" sending out her wedding invites to his friends, two of his friends said they couldn't go anymore.
Because of this, he decided he would only go to her ceremony and not her reception. She became very upset and asked if he could live with himself after skipping his daughter's wedding reception, and he said yes before hanging up.
"I messaged him with how hurt I was by his decision and that all he had to do was ask about their invites rather than jump to this conclusion that I didn't invite them on purpose," she recalled.
"He says that he is only reacting to my decision to delay their invites."
As time has passed, her dad has continued to express how he's been sad about not being considered enough throughout the wedding planning process. Now, she can't tell if what she did to him was wrong. Should she have been more diligent about inviting her dad's extra friends to her wedding, or is her dad too high maintenance?
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