Hey angel! Have you heard? Jocelyn is a freak, she wants it bad! And she doesn't even need to know your name. Who is Jocelyn, you ask? A sad girl cooked up by the Spotify algorithm? A nepo baby who's hooked up with an in-demand producer? No, she's the fictional pop star and face of The Idol, HBO's troubled but actually-alright television show from Abel "The Weeknd" Tesfaye and Sam "Euphoria" Levinson. While a lot has been written about the show's off-screen troubles and on-screen vulgarity, let's talk about the mononymous pop star at the centre of it all: is Jocelyn any good at this pop star stuff?
When we meet Jocelyn, played with convincing elan by Lily-Rose Depp, she's recovering from a breakdown, prompted in part by the recent death of her mother. The show has not yet revealed her Billboard history, but we do know that she was supposed to play New York's Madison Square Garden pre-breakdown and, as Vanity Fair journalist Talia (Hari Nef) points out, she has a whiff of Britney about her. She's trying her best to dance (relatable) and chain smoking (relatable in the '90s). Crucially, she's mounting a comeback. Enter: "World Class Sinner / I'm A Freak".
That song, a perfect three minutes and 19 seconds, was co-written by Tesfaye and Electric Guest's Asa Taccone. The full track was released on Friday, along with the spiky, atmospheric theme song "The Lure" (produced by The Weeknd and Mike Dean). Depp whisper-sings coherent, albeit uninspiring, lyrics about sex and light kink. "'Cause you're dumb, but you're cute, that's a good enough ratio," Jocelyn intones. "And I'm wild as a stallion, so come enjoy the rodeo." It's a little like if you printed out Tumblr captions, placed them in a bowl, and pulled them out at random to create a song. Needless to say, I have been thinking about it since Friday.
According to the two people I know watching The Idol, the song is catchy, but in an effort to quantify its success, let's look to some data. On Spotify, it has almost 1,200,000 streams. That's about the same as "WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DYING FOR ?", the love song disguised as climate anthem released by actual pop star Shawn Mendes, also released on Friday (the cover image for that corny single is a shot of New York last week swamped in its Bladerunner 2049 orange haze). But it pales in comparison to another Friday release, "VULGAR" (a big day for caps lock) from Sam Smith and Madonna, which has over 2,100,000 streams. Funnily enough, the try hard-sleazy "VULGAR" would have suited The Idol's vibe. And in case you were wondering just how narrow the popular culture ecosystem is currently: Madonna was featured on a track from the show's soundtrack, "Popular", featuring The Weeknd and Playboi Carti.
The Idol could be onto something good, with songs dropping in time with the episodes. "Double Fantasy", performed by The Weeknd and Future, was the lead single (the song shares its name with the second episode), and the full album will be available 30 June. That's a pretty neat gimmick: if you have one of the world's biggest pop stars as your showrunner and leading, uh, actor, you might as well get him to pen a song or two. Having a cross-cultural break-through is an asset: just ask The White Lotus, whose Season 2 theme song, "Renaissance" became a TikTok smash and club banger (there's even a Tiësto remix should you wish to revisit the sound of late-2022 and the sensation of sticky dance floors). It's hard not to believe that the show creators would not have wanted to create a hit single, but "World Class Sinner" is neither campy enough to go viral or good enough to add to a party playlist (it's passable for a running track at most).
No matter what the genre's detractors say, it is not easy to craft a pop song, and Hollywood does not have a strong record in producing fictional pop artists or the accompanying music. Mariah Carey tried in 2001's ill-fated Glitter. Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine had a go in Begin Again. Lady Gaga did her best in 2018's A Star is Born remake, but her character, Ally, is not remembered for her pop efforts but rousing rock ballads. Those are actual pop stars; the challenge for actors is even harder. (We retain hope for Anne Hathaway and Michaela Coel who will star in A24's Mother Mary, an "epic pop melodrama" with songs crafted by Jack "Taylor Swift" Antonoff and Charlie "Ahead Of Her Time" XCX.) I do not think "World Class Sinner" is going to do much to change this particular narrative.
But perhaps that is the point. In the show the song is supposed to provide conflict. Jocelyn's team think it's an iron-clad hit (it's not), but she is conflicted by the sound. When she plays it to Tedros at the end of the first episode, she's a little embarrassed. Their remix, which layers in what I can best describe as breathy, sex whispers, adds a certain je ne sais quoi (literally: is that the sound of Jocelyn and Tedros?) but isn't enough to make it more interesting. It is the kind of a song that a megastar could fashion into a hit, and in that way, it answers our question about her star power: if Jocelyn can make "World Class Sinner" a verified smash, she's got staying power. If she can't, there's always another blonde singer around the corner.