DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the etiquette around sharing a hotel swimming pool?
Today there were five people attempting to swim laps in the 25-meter pool. Two were thrashing up and down, and rather than using the lap lane, they each took up a third of the pool's width. This left the three others to share the remaining third.
The swimmer in the middle of the pool did not make any attempt to avoid other swimmers and nearly hit one of them each time he passed. He seemed to feel that his "need for speed" exempted him from polite sharing.
This is a frequent problem for me at hotels. What to do?
GENTLE READER: Etiquette dictates that people using common facilities should be courteous and share, and it leaves to local initiative the details of how this is to be accomplished. But as this is not specific enough to solve your problem, Miss Manners will add a few observations.
1. Sensible hotel pool owners post rules, even if they do not enforce them. You should feel free to suggest this to management during your next stay. They do not want pool confrontations any more than you do.
2. Absent such a posting, primary responsibility to avoid a collision lies with the person in motion -- meaning a careless swimmer who barrels into an innocent fellow guest owes an apology.
3. Aggressive swimmers are often aggressive in other ways. Coming back later or crowding into a smaller space may therefore be safer than knowingly courting a collision by standing in the middle of the pool with a beatific, but distracted, smile.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the executive assistant to an attorney. While I was out on medical leave, I had a birthday present delivered to his office. He called and thanked me for the "very thoughtful gift."
And it was a thoughtful gift. I spent a lot of time searching for an item that would be ideal for the situation.
Fast-forward six weeks. I returned to work and found the present unwrapped but unopened on the floor next to his credenza. There it rested for one year and 26 days, until he finally removed the present from its box, plugged it in and used it for about two weeks. It was then turned off and remains visible but unused.
What are your thoughts on such behavior?
GENTLE READER: Three thoughts come to mind: 1. Your boss did not value the gift as much as you hoped he would. 2. He is not socially adept enough to have disposed of the evidence. 3. But he is polite enough to have thanked you.
Miss Manners will add two more thoughts: 1. Go on about your business. 2. It hardly seems necessary to give birthday presents to your boss -- it may even embarrass him -- but if you feel you have to do so again, do not worry if your next gift is more perfunctory.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2023 JUDITH MARTIN
COPYRIGHT 2023 JUDITH MARTIN