There's no accounting for taste. Sometimes, it doesn't matter how groundbreaking a movie is supposed to be - there's just something about it that rubs you the wrong way. You'll ignore and reject all the lovely things people say about a particular film, and you might even get increasingly irate as more folks try to push you into watching it.
"Just give it a chance," they say, like you're a toddler who won't try broccoli and not an adult with fully-realized tastes that you (likely) know better than they do. Maybe you eventually cave and try the movie, or maybe you don't, but you almost always resent the effort that went into the ordeal.
All of that is to say, here's my list of movies that I just won't watch. Here's why.
Some call this one "timeless." Do you know what isn't "timeless?" Civil War-era gender roles and racial attitudes. This is by no means the only film that hasn't aged well, but it has aged so poorly that I don't even want to bother.
Or at least, I've heard it has aged poorly. I refuse to watch it.
I'm a big scaredy-cat. I don't like horror movies, I don't like dead people, and I don't like spoilers. Somewhere along the line, the big twist was ruined for me, and now I don't see why I should subject myself to a film I'm certain I won't enjoy.
Like "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," "Pride and Prejudice" (2005) is based on a classic piece of literature. Unlike "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" (the book), Pride and Prejudice" is not one of my favorites. I know that Jane Austen is a wonderfully influential author, but that doesn't change the fact that her books just don't appeal to me. Regency-era romance and drama is based on too much etiquette and rules for me to enjoy it. As such, I will not be viewing "Pride and Prejudice" - no matter how big of a crush I have on Keira Knightley.
I know how it ends already, because I remember reading about Christopher McCandless (played by Emile Hirsch in the film) and his tragic death. I've dated one too many wannabe van-life influencers to get lost in any of the escapism fantasy.
This is a film I've tried to watch a couple of times. I've seen the "I drink your milkshake" scene and wanted some more context. Daniel Day-Lewis sports a magnificent mustache, and that's also, well, something.
I don't have time for how ploddingly slow this movie is. It isn't so much that I refuse to watch it as I just can't finish it. I know it's great, but I am not a patient enough man.
If I wanted to watch vaguely awkward white dudes bicker, I'd have stayed in my college Dungeons & Dragons group. I'm convinced that Mark Zuckerberg (played by Jesse Eisenberg in the film) might legitimately be a lizard person. Either way, the tech-billionaire drama doesn't do anything to excite me. Yes, I am familiar with the impact that Facebook has had on the world, but that doesn't mean that I'm interested in watching a dramatized version of its genesis.
I was in college when this movie came out. I couldn't walk through my dormitory hall without seeing at least one room, with door wide open, full of dudes raving about how deep this movie was. If I had a nickel for every one of them who asked me to proofread their freshman philosophy paper that revolved entirely around this movie's ending, I wouldn't need to write this piece. I could sit on a beach and watch a top spin all day.