A man who will only eat his mom's cooking is being blasted online, after a post shared by his "tired" wife went viral.
Reddit user u/Throwaway5756346 lit up the site's Am I the A******? (AITA) forum on September 12, after revealing that her husband rejects the food she cooks for him every day. He will only eat meals provided by his mother, which she sends him on a daily basis.
In less than 24 hours, the post received almost 20,000 upvotes and nearly 1,000 comments, mostly from users baffled by the poster's predicament.
A man being close to his mother is usually a good thing. Research shows that adults who grow up in stable households and have positive relationships with their caregivers are more likely to be better partners and parents themselves. However, a relationship that crosses boundaries well into adulthood can be a sign of "enmeshment."
Although "mama's boy" is thrown around a lot, the term is over 100 years old, with the concept first conceptualized by Sigmund Freud as the Oedipus Complex. Freud theorized that boys between the ages of three and five are sexually attracted to their mother and view their father as a rival for her affections (the female equivalent is the Electra Complex). This stage supposedly ends when the child begins to identify with the parent of the same sex instead.
This theory has since been debunked, but Freud wasn't the only psychotherapist to discuss mama's boys. Pediatrician-turned-psychoanalyst Dr. Benjamin Spock's 1946 bestseller Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care made Freud's theories mainstream. Spock said that little boys who were too attached to their moms were more likely to grow up with "feminine interests" and not adhere to typical male gender norms.
Today, the term is more often used to describe grown men who are overly dependent on their mothers-to the detriment of their other relationships-also known as "enmeshment." Although enmeshment can manifest itself in a number of ways, in the case of mama's boys, they're likely to rely on their mothers to meet either their emotional, financial or social needs, even after finding a partner or having children of their own.
In her post, u/Throwaway5756346 explained that her husband "Mickey" loves his mother's cooking so much that he won't even try his new wife's food.
"I consider myself a good cook. In fact, I'm going to just say that I'm even better than his mom," she wrote.
"The problem is, he doesn't even want to try my cooking or give me a chance to prove it. I thought this would change after marriage but 5 months later nothing's changed."
Instead of eating the food she prepares, her husband has his mom send him a meal every day for dinner. On the weekends, they go over to her house in the morning and he eats breakfast, lunch and dinner there.
"Every single day he'd come home and ask if his mom sent him a meal," she said. "I grew irritated of this and whenever I [tried] to offer him to taste any of the (wasted) food I cook, he'd lay in bed and say he's full."
Tired of her husband's behavior, the poster decided to serve him her own food and pretend it was his mom's cooking.
"I cooked him the same meal his mom sent him that day and put it aside till he got home," she said.
"He asked if his mom sent a meal for dinner and I said yes and served him my own version of the meal - not hers. He didn't notice anything different. He ate the whole thing with no hesitation while I sat across from him asking him questions about how good the meal was.
"He went on and on praising it saying how perfect, exceptional it was, and how it was just what he needed after a long day at work."
However, upon realizing his wife cooked the meal, he flipped out. He accused the poster of lying and tricking him, then left.
She said: "He froze and looked at me for a minute. Looked down at the plate then back at me and said 'wait, you made this didn't you?'
"His face suddenly went red and he got upset and said that this was not cool. I told him he never even gave me a chance to show him how good my cooking is.
"He said that I shouldn't have lied to him and basically tricked him into eating food that he had no idea where it came from."
The poster said that her husband spent the remainder of the evening sulking, before posting a vague Facebook post about the situation.
"I felt guilty and bad thinking maybe I really shouldn't have done this," she said.
"But I was frustrated with how he kept turning down every meal I tried to cook him. AITA?"
Redditors dubbed the situation "strange," with many wondering why the woman married the man in the first place.
"Why would you marry someone who refuses to eat your food and makes his mother make him dinner everyday?" asked Swegh_.
"Such a strange post," agreed notrightmeowthanks. "Is he really that good in bed or something? Please explain, OP, we need to know."
"Are you married to a literal toddler?" asked Admirable_Bad3862.
WhileBlueberryBlossom13 suggested that the poster: "File for divorce and ship him back to his mommy."
Newsweek has reached out to u/Throwaway5756346 for comment. We couldn't verify the details of the case.
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