What if I said the wrong thing? How will I ever finish the assignment in time? Why aren't they responding to my text? Thoughts like these make us human, says Julie Pike, a clinical psychologist in Chapel Hill, North Carolina. "That's what the brain is designed to do - to think our way out of problems and away from predators," she says.
"However, we often find ourselves stuck in a spiral of predicting, playing out different scenarios and often catastrophizing," says Sophie Lazarus, a psychologist at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center in Columbus.
"As strange as it sounds, in the short term, this overthinking can give us a false sense of relief or the illusion of control. However, in the long term, this habit can have real costs to our well-being and engagement in our lives," she notes.
Those consequences can compound over time, adds Linda Sapadin, a clinical psychologist in Long Island, New York. "Overthinking can ruin your day and also ruin your sleep cycle."
"Worrying and overthinking is part of the human experience," explains Jeri Coast, a San Diego-based licensed clinical social worker and director of of clinical operations at Lightfully Behavioral Health. "Anxiety is the body's normal reaction to stress when presented with potential danger. or anticipating a future threat." It's a completely normal reaction and it happens to everyone.
However, sometimes it goes much further than that and becomes a chronic problem. "Overthinking is another word for worry," says Cheryl Carmin, a psychologist and clinical professor of psychiatry and behavioral health at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center and the Ohio State University College of Medicine in Columbus.
Worry can be productive or counterproductive depending on the situation. For example, "when overthinking results in developing a plan or a strategy to solve a problem, it's productive," Carmin explains. But "on the other hand, if you're focusing on an issue and your mental energy is spent on spinning your wheels, you're overthinking the problem and ultimately, it's unproductive."
If you feel like you're overthinking everything, try these 13 expert-approved tactics to stop your unproductive thoughts in their tracks:
You can't stop overthinking if you don't realize you're doing it - and very often, people don't, says Pike, who specializes in treating anxiety disorders.
"You've been thinking about what he said or what your boss did, or you're having an imaginary conversation, and you've been thinking about it for 15 minutes before you even notice," she says.
But if you can learn to recognize the physical sensations and anxiety symptoms that come with stress - maybe tension in your back or a pit in your stomach - then you can work on halting the mental causes behind them. "Make a commitment to use a tool to help your brain step back," Pike says. Try practicing the following tips to help stop anxious overthinking in its tracks.
One such tool is calling out your thoughts. If you're having an anxiety attack, try to recognize they're just thoughts. For instance, turn "I'm a bad parent" into, "I notice I'm thinking I'm a bad parent."
"Step back and observe your thoughts rather than believing your thoughts are facts," Pike says. This mental reframing adds a layer of distance between your identity and your thoughts, thus separating them and clarifying them as beliefs that can be changed.
This helps provide some sense of control when it might otherwise be hard to feel like you have any. "Telling someone to stop doing something is not as helpful as encouraging them to do something else," says Dr. Ernest Rasyidi, a psychiatrist with St. Joseph Hospital in Orange County, California. "Instead of emphasizing the attempt to stop worrying, the focus gets put on trying to do positive manageable things."
For example, "give yourself permission to do something other than focus on the issue, and make a plan to revisit the worry later in the day," Carmin suggests. "This allows you to separate the content of the worry from the associated anxiety." It's that anxiety that fuels overthinking and makes it seem so urgent.
If you can come back to the issue later when you're calmer, you'll be able to think more clearly and potentially find a solution to the problem from a different perspective without spinning into overthinking.
"Many people who suffer from anxiety suffer in silence alone because they recognize that their concerns may be unreasonable but they just cannot turn them off," Rasyidi adds. "Validating the suffering that these people go through is one of the first steps to healing. After that, I often engage the patient in trying to help put together a solution that works for them."
When you notice that you're overthinking or feeling anxious, Lazarus recommends asking yourself why you're worrying about a particular problem. Is it a problem you can act on or solve, or are you trying to control the uncontrollable?
The answer can help you see a path forward. "If you find yourself trying to control the uncontrollable, be kind to yourself. This is a very human impulse," Lazarus says.
While "acknowledging that we just can't control some things is hard," it can lead you to alternative courses of action that can help calm you. "Try doing something soothing or productive - take a shower, go for a walk or talk to a friend," she says. Or engage in relaxation exercises, like diaphragmatic breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, which "can also be helpful in calming down the body and mind."
Overthinking is like a book with no periods, paragraphs or chapters - it doesn't know when to stop, says Sapadin, author of the book "Overcoming Your Procrastination: Advice for 6 Personality Styles." It's up to you to set those boundaries.
To do so, tell yourself, ideally out loud, "just another 10 minutes" with the nurturing, not punishing tone of a parent, Sapadin suggests.
Rasyidi agrees that giving yourself some designated "worry time" can be more helpful than trying to stop overthinking altogether. He says he often instructs patients to "actually set aside a dedicated chunk of time, maybe 15 minutes in the middle of the day where a person is actually encouraged to worry. They're allowed to worry as much as they want, but only during that allocated time. This is one way to get it out of their system and if worries or fears start to creep into other parts of the day, they work on reminding themselves that they can tuck it away for now and come back to it later during their dedicated worry time."
If you let the ruminating go on, you're only making it easier for your brain to return to that dark place later, Pike points out. "Ruminating (rewires) the same neural pathways over and over again; we're creating deeper grooves in the record we've already played."
Coast recommends taking a step back and simply taking "a deep breath to clear you mind, look at the bigger picture." She also recommend keeping track of triggers or patterns that develop overtime when you find yourself overthinking.
"Next time you find yourself continuously running things over in your mind, take note of how it affects your mood. Do you feel irritated? Nervous? Guilty? What is the primary emotion behind your thoughts? Self-awareness is key to changing your mindset and practicing self-compassion. "
Speaking of records, listening to a song you like is one of the best ways to move your mind along, Sapadin says. Just like any creative endeavor you enjoy, "music taps a different part of the brain," she says. "It's almost like the part of the brain that's overthinking can't do that if you're really into the music and your body is swaying to the music."
Pike also suggests turning to music for a mental pickup. "Pick a theme song that embodies the theme of what you're thinking about," she says, and sing it. How can you keep brooding when you're belting "It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)"?
Look for songs that can help shake you out of a funk, rather than dark or depressive songs. Though sad or anxious musical choices can be validating, they can also reinforce your negative emotion. Instead, choose songs that are in opposition to what you're experiencing to help shift your emotional framework. The goal should be to shake things up and get you out of a negative emotional stew.
Dr. Matt Angelelli, chief of psychiatry at Orlando Health in Florida, says that exercise is a critically important means of managing anxiety and worry. "The very first thing I would encourage for somebody who's not doing well with worry and rumination is to exercise. It's one of the best medicines for everything in mental health, especially depression and anxiety."
The exercise doesn't necessarily have to be strenuous or lengthy, either. "It can be yoga or stretching," he says. Even just going for a walk around the block when worry strikes can help you clear your mind and settle your racing thoughts.
"There's something in movement. We're meant to move. Our whole body was designed to move our minds around so we can interact with others. There's something that's released throughout the body during exercise that causes an improvement" in overall health and wellness, Angelelli explains.
If you're afraid of, say, elevators, a psychologist may encourage you to approach, enter and eventually ride them until they're no longer threatening. You can do the same thing with a thought, Pike says.
"Boil the essence of the thought down to 10 words or less and repeat that thought over and over again until you get bored," she recommends. Repeating "I bombed the job interview" is better than saying, "I said the wrong thing. The other applicants are better. My references were poor," Pike says.
That's because your brain treats each new thought as an independent threat. Consolidating and repeating the worries allows your brain to check that box as nonthreatening and move on.
Carmin says challenging worrisome thoughts is a useful method of addressing anxiety. "For example, can you determine whether you're being objective - is this truly a problem or does it 'feel like' a problem? What's the worst thing that can happen? And what's the probability of that worst case scenario occurring?"
Sometimes writing these things down in a journal helps you see more clearlywhat's causing the worry, which can help you neutralize it more effectively.
If being in your head doesn't feel good, be in your body. "Thinking is a mental activity, so the best thing to do is start doing something," Sapadin says.
Anything that uses the senses can work, from smelling some lavender oil or doing pushups to biting into a lemon or dunking your hand in a bucket of ice. "It flips your brain into, 'What's this? That's very cold,'" Pike says.
If you have more time, distract yourself with a hobby you enjoy, says Sapadin, who recommends making a list of five activities you'd like to do more. "People who struggle with overthinking often don't make time for fun activities," she finds.
Reconnecting with nature and getting some fresh air and sunshine can do wonders for easing anxiety and boosting your mood, says Dr. Michael Brodsky, medical director for behavioral health for L.A. Care Health Plan in Los Angeles, the largest publicly-operated health plan in the U.S.
And it doesn't have to take a long time either. "Spending 20 minutes a day in natural surroundings has been shown to foster a sense of well-being. If you have a chance to exert yourself while you're outside, even better."
Angelelli recommends going for a short walk with someone you like being around to get social interaction, fresh air and exercise all at the same time. "Going for walks is highly therapeutic. If you go for a walk with someone, you can talk it out."
Whether it's social media, television or radio news or even just gossip from coworkers, unhelpful chatter can get in your head and ratchet up your overall anxiety level, often about things you have no control over.
Angelelli says it's important to look at "what thing you do every day that makes your worry worse," such as watching a lot of cable news. It doesn't matter which side you support; all media has been designed to hold your attention by making you engaged, emotionally charged and anxious. "I would encourage people to pick a newspaper and read that instead of watching things in the news. When you're reading, you can see the slant and you get to decide how much you're taking in about what's being said."
Brodsky also recommends limiting social media use to once per day, "and be thoughtful about your sources. Facebook and Twitter are not exactly known for accuracy."
Overthinking and perfectionism go hand in hand, says Sapadin, who notes that ruminating about a creative endeavor like writing a chapter or completing a painting are more common than spiraling thoughts about practical matters like where you put the keys.
"You need to appreciate that crafting a perfect product or being perfect isn't possible - that's a recipe for creating anxiety, and it's just not fair to yourself," Sapadin says. Instead of beating yourself up for imperfections or avoiding projects you're afraid won't be perfect, come up with new ideas, make mistakes, regret them and move on, she says.
Brodsky says that while we often don't have control of circumstances, we do have control "over how we spend our time." It's important to recognize that you do yourself "no favors by ruminating on what happens in the past - memories - or what might happen in the future - fantasies. By focusing on the present moment, we avoid missing out on the daily experiences of life."
Not every worrisome moment is an anxiety attack or a sign of an anxiety disorder. While everybody overthinks sometimes, not everyone is so consumed with or distressed by unproductive thought patterns that their daily lives and happiness are disrupted. But if you are or think you might be, it's probably time to seek help.
"If anxiety is impairing your ability to work, get along with others or take care of yourself, you should seek professional help," Lazarus says. "Breaking old habits can be hard and having the help of a professional can support you in gaining the awareness and skills to manage your anxiety."
Coast adds that when you're struggling with overthinking, it can make you feel stuck or unable to take any action at all. "It can be hard to get the thoughts out of your mind or concentrate on anything else. When this prevents you from taking action or interferes with your daily life or wellbeing, this is when speaking with a mental health processional would be beneficial."
Consider talking to a mental health professional who specializes in anxiety disorders, such as generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder. Some self-help books, meditation apps and online cognitive behavioral therapy programs can also teach you long-term strategies for managing anxiety. Some individuals may benefit from taking anxiety medication to manage their symptoms.
Angelelli says that selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors or SSRIs, a class of widely used anti-depressant medications, can be very helpful in easing anxiety disorders. While it's not entirely clear exactly how they work, SSRIs change the balance of serotonin - that's the feel-good chemical - in the brain. "People who have high levels of serotonin have a high sense of well-being," Angelelli says, and these medications can help you achieve that.
It's important to learn to manage anxiety and worry effectively, because while techniques like distraction can help everyday worriers in the short term, they can make symptoms worse in people with anxiety disorders. If you're always relying on short-term distraction techniques, you may not be dealing with a deeper issue that's creating the anxiety symptoms, and that can worsen over time.
Brodsky adds that "there's never a wrong time to talk with a mental health specialist." And if you're in crisis, get help immediately by contacting the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. You can also access more information and mental health resources from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
Beyond seeking professional help, simply reaching out to friends and family for support can help ease anxiety and overthinking, too, Angelelli says. Sometimes, a supportive friend can help you put worries back into their appropriate perspective.
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