The internet has bashed a man for arriving at his friend's birthday dinner without RSVPing first.
Published to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a user under the anonymous username u/GA2AZ shared their story to receive feedback from the "AITA" community. The viral post has over 8,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.
The Redditor began their story by explaining how they recently had a birthday dinner. However, a week prior to the dinner, they sent out a text to their friends for them to RSVP so they could make a reservation at the restaurant.
"Most people said they could come," they wrote. "One friend said they couldn't make it and another friend never responded. A couple days later I was talking to one of the friends I invite about the dinner and they said they thought the friend who didn't answer was coming but they weren't sure. I said that he needs to RSVP so I have the [best] head count for the reservation. I never heard from the friend who didn't respond so I made the reservation accordingly."
Before making the reservation, they sent out a text message warning that they needed to know if their friend was coming or not, but didn't hear from him so they moved forward with making the reservation.
While everyone was about to be seated by the hostess at the restaurant, the person who didn't RSVP arrived. The original poster (OP) asked the hostess if there was a seat for him and unfortunately, there wasn't unless the party wanted to wait an extra two hours.
"I told the friend who didn't RSVP that he could not join us for dinner. He got mad and told me I was a bad friend. He told me it was embarrassing to be turned away from a birthday party and that he wasted time and gas coming out. I told him he should have [RSVPed.] [He] told me he told our friend that he might be going. I told him that wasn't good enough and he should have told me. He told me that I should have asked him if he was coming," they concluded.
Newsweek reached out to u/GA2AZ for comment.
RSVP is the abbreviation of the French word "répondez s'il vous plaît," which means "please reply."
RSVPing to an event including weddings, dinners and galas is important as the host can determine how many people will attend the event and so they can plan accordingly. Per munaluchibridal.com, some etiquette tips when following the RSVP rules include accepting or not accepting the invitation, being courteous and RSVPing by the due date, being aware of bringing a plus one, not critiquing the menu, and being on time.
Newsweek has published several articles regarding conflict between friends, including a landlord who was bashed online for "kicking out" their best friend so their sister could move in, a teen who was praised for slamming her cousin for insulting her friend and a woman who didn't want her friend's fiancée to join a vacation.
"Someone like this is not a friend," u/therealknightshade wrote, receiving the top comment of over 10,000 upvotes, "[Not the a**hole]. Cut him off from your life, you don't need this toxic and manipulative embarrassment of a human being for a friend."
U/ClothesQueasy2828 said, "[Not the a**hole]. You asked people to RSVP. He didn't. You didn't include him in the reservation. End of story. (Telling another friend he might be coming is not an adequate RSVP, or actually, not an RSVP at all.)"
U/snarkbeastie explained, "[Not the a**hole] No RSVP is a no on an RSVP. If he can't be bothered to tell you directly, that's on him. It's common courtesy. And it isn't like you told him to leave when he showed up. You tried to get another seating and rightfully decided a 2 hour wait would be unreasonable and rude to the others attending. You did due diligence being nice to someone with questionable manners. He should be embarrassed for showing up and causing an issue he could have easily avoided with a single email. I mean, how hard is it to reply with 'yes'??"
"[Not the a**hole], it's simple etiquette and making a person wait 2 hours for their birthday dinner because you're being inconsiderate is unacceptable. You did the right thing," u/Minute-Inflation-713 commented.
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