I've always felt most content in the ocean, and even as a little kid, I dreamt of becoming a surfer. So when I moved to Los Angeles in December 2020 and suddenly had the beach at my fingertips, I started to make that dream a reality. Ever since, surfing has become an important part of my life, and it's had a profound impact on both my confidence and my mental health.
This past May, I was wrapping up a strenuous project at work and experiencing significant burnout. I knew I needed a vacation, and since being in the water never fails to boost my mood, I thought a surfing-centered getaway might be just the thing to bring me back to equilibrium. After a quick Google search, I came across Las Olas, a surf retreat for women that's been in operation since 1997. It felt like fate that they had one spot left on their upcoming retreat?-the last of the season. Two weeks later, I was on a flight down the pacific coast to Mexico, gleeful with anticipation of the week ahead.
The retreat's itinerary included a combination of surf lessons, yoga classes, and leisure activities like massages and happy hours, all of which were optional. One of my personal goals for the week was to improve my physical surfing skills (along with sleeping in and gazing at the ocean from my villa). And while I received a lot of personalized coaching that helped me refine my board technique, it was the instruction I received on the mental component of the sport that I found most surprising-and transformative.
This education came during "It's Your Wave," an evening class taught by yoga instructor Aynsley Parker. In it, she shared mindfulness techniques that can help surfers navigate mental challenges in the water. To be clear, Parker isn't a mental health practitioner and the tools she taught us aren't meant to replace therapy or other forms of mental health treatment for anxiety. Rather, they're grounding practices that, per Parker, surfers can use to stay present and calm on their boards. And not only did I find these tools helpful on the waves, but I also found myself turning to them in moments of overwhelm I experienced on land, long after my plane's wheels touched down in L.A. In particular, these are the calming techniques that have helped me the most:
In the class, Parker taught us a concept called the "window of tolerance," a term that was coined by Daniel J Siegel, MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA school of medicine. The window of tolerance describes an ideal emotional zone in which a person can function with a sense of groundedness, openness, and curiosity about the world around them. In other words, you feel safe enough to let your guard down and be present. On either side of that optimal zone lies the hyperarousal zone, which is characterized by a flight-or-flight response of panic and overwhelm, and the hypoarousal zone, where you shut down or experience a feeling of numbness.
Our coach explained that when you just start out surfing or are even trying out a new surf break, your window of tolerance is going to be relatively small-you're likely to get flustered when you miss a wave or wipe out, or even to freeze when you see a wave coming instead of turning your board around and paddling for it. However, as you continue your surfing journey or keep returning back to that new surf spot, your window of tolerance can expand; each time you get out into the water, you may be able to endure more stimulation and still feel calm and grounded.
Just becoming aware of this concept has been a game-changer for me both in and out of the water. When I'm feeling overwhelmed, whether it's because I'm getting used to a new wave, trying a new activity, or even putting myself in a new social situation, I remind myself that the overwhelm I'm feeling is not only normal, but also that every time I try again, I'll (hopefully) get a bit more comfortable. For me, that knowledge breeds resilience, and it's become an invaluable part of my mental health toolbox.
While simply learning about the window of tolerance was helpful in and of itself, our coach also taught us some mindfulness techniques to get back into that calm, present zone when we feel overwhelmed or shut down in the water. Specifically, she explained that returning our attention to our physical surroundings-whether that's looking up at the birds in the sky or noticing the feeling of the water moving against our hands-can help calm us down enough to return to a state of emotional balance.
I like to employ this strategy using the popular 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique, where I mentally take note of five things I can see, four things I can touch or feel on my body, three things I can hear, two things I can smell, and one thing I can taste. The concept is based on the idea that by tuning in to your body's senses, you're better able to tune out your mind's anxious thoughts. If I haven't eaten anything recently and don't have any lingering tastes in my mouth, I will sometimes replace that last element with one thing I'm grateful for. This moment of gratitude helps me get out of my head, and expressing appreciation for what I have often helps me quell feelings of anxiety.
I use this grounding technique as a form of meditation, and it serves me both when I'm on my surfboard and when I'm on land. For example, when I'm feeling anxious and overwhelmed at home, I'll go up to my deck and use this tool to observe the way the branches of the trees move in the wind, how the breeze feels on my face, the sound of the birds chirping above me, the smell of the dirt in my yard, and my gratitude for living in a place that I love. Afterward, I always feel significantly calmer and more peaceful than I did prior to the exercise.
Even including moments of stress in the waves, I've always experienced surfing as an emotionally regulating activity. I tend to get out of the water with a blissful, centered, all-natural buzz. And while I went on the Las Olas retreat with the intention of using surfing to get myself into a more grounded mental state, what I didn't expect was that the trip would give me tools to help me calm down in my everyday life, too. My relationship with the ocean is always bringing me unexpected lessons and connecting me with supportive communities-something for which I often find myself expressing gratitude during my grounding meditations.
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