I've often had a feeling I might be living under a rock. Somehow, despite owning a smartphone/using social media/being required to participate in the internet for my job, I've never seen the meme, learned the dance, or been able to tell you who is an "old" or "not an old" based on where they part their hair. Does this make me cheugy? What is cheugy?
So the good ice, the pellet ice, the GE Profile Opal nugget ice? That's a niche too small and too cool for my unhip existence. But like the rest of the internet, I did (if a few days late) read along as The New Yorker's Helen Rosner compared the crunchy layers of said ice to "well-laminated pastry." "The good ice makes average drinks great, and great drinks godly," Rosner writes. After years of being out of the ASMR loop, the idea of ice that "makes a soothing, gently percussive shuffling sound" sent a pleasant shudder down my spine.
$579.00, Amazon
While normal ice cubes are unforgivingly solid, a chipped tooth waiting to happen, the good ice is cush. Made of compressed ice flakes compacted into tiny cylindrical snowballs, this type of ice is simultaneously chewy, crunchy, and airy. Doused in a fountain soda or a cool pour of lemonade, nugget ice becomes a chompable little snack in your drink, a sensory experience extending beyond the brute force of frozen. These air-pocketed little nuggets are the main attraction at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, Chick-fil-A, Sonic, and elite mall food courts. Also hospitals, where pellet ice is prized for its low choking risk and chewability. While you can, apparently, roll up to a Chick-fil-A and purchase a five-pound bag of chewable ice, there is also a way to have the good ice at home whenever you want thanks to the best nugget ice maker there is-the GE Profile Opal Nugget Ice Maker.
I turned to TikTok, a social media platform I had heard about, to learn more. For hours I lapped up videos of expansive suburban kitchens, a glossy, stainless steel GE Profile Opal nugget ice machine churning away on each counter. The Opal, you see, is not only Rosner's choice for best ice maker, but also the rest of the internet's. Affectionately called She across TikTok, like a seafaring vessel laden with a precious cargo of crunchy ice, the Opal churns out a whopping one pound of ice per hour. She has an ice storage capacity of three pounds. This is a fully portable ice maker, requiring no water hookup-just fill the water reservoir and wait as She quietly whirs away. Use the cute included ice scoop to dip into the storage bin, fill a Big Gulp-size cup with chewable nugget ice, and aah.
You have some choices when it comes to selecting which countertop model to welcome into your home. Supplement the built-in water supply with a side tank, which allows you to increase your ice production threefold. Is the ability to schedule your next batch of ice via the mobile app important to you? Get the GE Profile Opal 2.0 with built-in Wi-Fi connectivity. This is primo pebble ice making; expect all the features. The whole freestanding contraption, while obviously bigger than the plastic ice cube tray that gives you stale, freezer-burned bricks, still takes up less counter space than a microwave-a reasonably compact design even if your kitchen is, like mine, definitely not suburban-size.
$579.00, Amazon
At full price, the $579 GE Opal countertop nugget ice maker is not a flip purchase. But you can take $150 off this Amazon Prime Day, and after hours on TikTok I've yet to find someone who's had buyer's remorse. Each effusive video is tinged with the slightly embarrassed pleasure at having sprung for such a nonessential appliance. Rosner writes, "The GE Opal was an absurd purchase, unnecessary and indefensible. But it brings me the good ice, which brings me an absurd amount of delight." I use my Vitamix and my espresso machine every morning-and for the price of those two I could have purchased three GE pellet ice makers-but my love for them cannot hold a candle to the passionate, obsessive ardor that Ice People have for their Opals. If you're going to splurge for one big-ticket item this Amazon Prime Day, why get something practical like a vacuum when you could buy yourself an unending supply of frivolous joy?
With no childhood memories of Sonic ice myself, I'm still mulling it over. But just in case, I asked my dentist. "I can't ever endorse ice crunching," he told me. "But that soft, chewy food court ice? That's not as bad. Actually, I'll admit it...it's kind of good."