Who should pay for a first date? It's a question that probably sits at the back of your mind every time you go on a first date or one that you ask your friends before you head out to meet the potential love of your life. Should you pay for it? Should they? Or should you both split it? With each option, there always seems to be a whole bunch of hidden rules.
Traditionalists will tell us that a 'gentleman' always pays for the first date but as we've (thankfully) progressed past that point, it's now a lot more ambiguous as to who should be the one to whip out their credit card first.
Nowadays, people have a lot more financial freedom than they once did and with that, a lot more women are choosing to split the bill on a date because the concept of needing a man to pay for things is antiquated.
But that's still very stuck in heterosexual worlds - what about queer relationships?
On paper, splitting the bill seems like the easiest thing to do to avoid any confusion but I always find it so awkward to ask my date to pay for their half if they haven't offered. The silence and awkwardness of looking at each other when the bill comes are too much to bear so I just offer to pay.
I've been on dates where I've had to foot the bill (one time it was $150) even though that person was the one to ask me out but I was too awkward to ask to split and he wasn't saying a single word.
As someone who has been on many first dates (take from that what you will), I think the person who asked the other on the date should offer to pay first and then they can decide to split or not.
A few months ago, there was a vote on a Bumble Reddit thread about who should pay for the first date. More than 3000 people voted and the results were overwhelming in favour of splitting the bill, with 1600 votes.
Interestingly, the second-highest option (with 760 votes) was that the woman should offer to split, but the man should pay. Another 569 votes went to the man paying in a male/female relationship.
When it came to same-sex coupling, the highest vote was the person who asked for the date should be the one to pay.
There is something about the feeling of having to 'owe' that person after they've paid always makes me feel a bit icky. If there is a guarantee that there will be a second date with the person then I'll offer to pay for the next one but if there's no chance of that happening, splitting seems like the best option to me.
I wanted to do some research of my own, so I asked around to see who people thought should pay for the first date. Here's what they said.
Split the bill
They should pay
You should pay
So what do you think? Who should pay for the first date? Let us know!
If you're in the mood for some first dates, check out the best dating apps of 2022.