John Hughes says he has given up on calling refs chief Crawford Allan because he feels it's like a sketch from prank show Beadle's About.
Hamilton gaffer Brian Rice claimed at the weekend the big decisions were going against his side but Hughes reckons his Ross County side are getting a rawer deal.
Accies currently sit bottom with the Staggies just two points ahead in 10th place. But Yogi reckons his team would be sitting a lot more comfortably had key decisions not gone against them in recent weeks.
Penalty calls from John Beaton and Greg Aitken in games against Hibs and St Mirren cost County dear.
But Hughes insists there is little accountability for whistlers - because Allan does everything he can to protect his own.
He said: "When you phone up you're looking for Jeremy Beadle to jump out. You're on the phone saying, 'Is this for real?' I've never been patronised so much in all my life.
"I'm 56. I've played the game and been brought up with my gut, my character and you're getting that on the phone. It's embarrassing.
"Brian has had a rant and I agree with him when he says Crawford Allan, you're wasting your time. That's why I'd never phone him, to be patronised. You're having a laugh.
© SNS Group "Brian has my backing but try being the Ross County manager with the stonewallers or the soft ones that are given against us."
Martin Boyle won a spot-kick from ref Beaton when he went down in front of County defender Alex Iacovitti.
That came after Collin Quaner went down easily to win another from Aitken in St Mirren's 1-0 win over the Staggies.
Hughes said: "If he (Beaton) had given that penalty against Hibs in an Old Firm game there would have been an outcry. We had a rookie referee a couple of weeks before we had John Beaton and he was miles better.
"There is where Brian Rice is coming from. It's a wee bit at the back of the head because it is Ross County but that's Scottish football. We just need to take it on the chin and get on with it but it is a problem in Scottish football. There has to be some accountability.
"The guys who are diving can get away with it but so do the referees because they don't want to make them accountable
"Two wrongs don't make a right and something has to be done in
Scottish football about this."
The County boss has always championed full-time referees but insists our referees need to be more approachable. Hughes said: "Going full-time would help them but one or two need a personality bypass because there's no talking to them.
"They put that wee uniform on and are running about out there - just calm down, take a notch off your jockstrap.
"Being a referee is about having a bit of banter, your people skills and the way you conduct yourself."
Officials in the English top flight have to declare who they support at the start of the season and Hughes believes it should be the same up here.
But he said: "I asked the question of a certain referee about his team. I was told we don't ask our referees what team they support - because half of them wouldn't be able to referee Celtic and Rangers."