© Provided by The GuardianPhotograph: Harry Trump/Getty Images
Even down a distant phone line from Kenya, there is no doubt where Dicky Evans's heart lies. For decades he has been defiantly flying the flag for rugby in Cornwall, pouring in millions to try to put the Cornish Pirates on the Premiership map. Never mind, as he wryly concedes, that "80% of our catchment area is the sea".
Nor is life any simpler in the era of Covid-19. Saturday should have seen a packed house cheering on the Pirates of Penzance, with the erstwhile European champions Saracens due at the characterful Mennaye Field. "We'd get a hell of a crowd if we weren't in a pandemic," murmurs Evans, 75 and engaged in his own tough duel with Parkinson's. Even the pasty stall will be shut, which really is sacrilege.
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It is all part of the magical mystery tour awaiting Saracens following their salary cap-related relegation from the Premiership. Their 600-mile round trip to the far south-west also shines a lighthouse beam on the inequalities which seasoned benefactors such as Evans still discern within the English game. "The way the RFU operates just pisses me off," he says bluntly. "There's no respect for us at all."
After 25 years backing his hometown club, Evans has obvious reasons to feel that way. Central funding has been slashed by 75% to £140,000 per club in the second tier for this truncated season, with little prospect of a reprieve next year. It is nowhere near enough to encourage a top-level professional operation and even more ominous if the suspension of Premiership relegation this season leads to a permanently ringfenced top division.
The received wisdom is that no one can afford to join the elite, let alone from one of the country's least wealthy counties. Evans recognises the other big problem - "mackerel don't watch rugby" - but, having spent the past 52 years in Kenya building a fortune in flowers, vegetables and boutique hotels, he does not like the English establishment telling him what to do.
Not only does he still believe Cornwall can copy Exeter's example - "we've got high aspirations" - but he is fed up with the general level of condescension.
"There was no respect even before I came. There's been no respect for the Championship by anybody as a PR opportunity."
His latest bugbear has been the RFU's insistence that, contractually, the Pirates could not stream the Saracens game on their own television channel. "The RFU have made a complete mess. We've already been cut back to £140,000 a year. Now they're trying to say we have to share the streaming money, for Christ's sake."
© Provided by The GuardianJames McRae of Cornish Pirates goes over for a try against Yorkshire Carnegie at Mennaye Field in January 2020. Photograph: Harry Trump/Getty Images
Given the Pirates have not hosted a league game in more than 12 months, it speaks volumes for Evans - "I put in a million pounds a year at the moment" - that he still cares so deeply. Don't even get him started on Premiership ringfencing. "They're going to go to 14 clubs next year, aren't they? I've got no problems with that as long as they don't ringfence it for three years. There's got to be up and down. Even if we just had home and away play-offs between the top side in our league and the bottom club in the Premiership."
He and the Pirates' chief executive, Rebecca Thomas, also stress the Championship remains a hugely valuable finishing school. Europe's player of the year, Sam Simmonds, cut his teeth at the Pirates, and Jack Nowell and Luke Cowan-Dickie are the sons of local fishermen. "I think the RFU and Premiership Rugby need to realise how much value the Championship has to English rugby," says Thomas. "To close it off would be a real shame for everyone. Everybody has a passion for rugby here and we'd like to see the top level played in Cornwall."
On all fronts, things are coming to a head. What is the point of investing heavily in the Pirates if a ringfenced Premiership disappears into the sunset? This is also a pivotal moment in the proposed £23m Stadium for Cornwall project at Langarth near Truro which, before the pandemic, had been awaiting significant government support.
That crucial funding has not yet materialised and Evans has decided there is only one solution left. "I made a decision the other day . I'll fund the stadium now. I'm going to leave a lot of money in my trust, and my son and daughter are on board, too. We want to copy Edinburgh. They opened a stadium the other day that cost £5.7m." If his companies can be restructured, a usable facility - shared with Truro City FC - might even be possible in 18 months' time for the 2022-23 season.
© Photograph: Harry Trump/Getty ImagesCornish Pirates play Yorkshire Carnegie at Mennaye Field in January 2020; this weekend should have seen a packed house for the visit of Saracens.
In short, the Pirates are still intent on storming the good ship Premiership Rugby. This has been a nightmare period, with some staff still furloughed last week. But a 15-year loan from Sport England has at least enabled the club to start the abbreviated season, despite the hefty costs of Covid testing. "We've got almost £100,000 worth of bills for coronavirus testing," says Evans. "There's been no money from the RFU for that."
It should be obvious that Evans remains gripped by another stubborn variant: a lifelong love of rugby that enthrals him still. "Absolutely. Otherwise it would be mad." Is the Championship remotely viable without greater central investment? "Not really no. Not unless people like myself help with it."
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Still, though, he dreams of Trelawny's army rising again. "Absolutely there's a future for professional rugby in Cornwall. We could have been ready back in 2012 and 2013. I had a couple of former England players ready to come in. But in the end we didn't go for it, basically because we didn't have a stadium then."
Get one built and he still reckons the entire duchy will come, assuming the political playing field is sufficiently level. "It feels like they've set up this league just so that Saracens can win something and go back up. We're just fall guys now, aren't we? I think it was wrong when they put Saracens down among us lot. With all their internationals playing, there's no way any of us can beat them. I don't think England would beat them, personally. But let's see how well we can do this Saturday."
If the Pirates hold fast at the Mennaye Field, even the mackerel will be jumping for joy.