© Getty ImagesThe six eyebrow-raising pieces of life advice Julia Morris wants you to follow.
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Want to make your life easier?
Julia Morris reckons you only need four simple words.
In a world where every celebrity (and their dog) is releasing a self-help book, the comedian and television presenter has released her very own advice-filled audiobook - Julia Morris Makes It EASY.
"Well, most celebrities in the self-help genre are pretty deluded, and I just thought, you know what, no one's more deluded than me," Morris told Mamamia.
"I had to get involved. I mean, surely there's some cash out there in the self-help area for me," she joked.
Need some life hacks? Julia Morris is here to help. Post continues below.
The Audible Original, which was released on Tuesday, follows Morris' own brand of self-help advice, which the comedian refers to as the 'EASY' system.
"EASY is an acronym and a system that you can implement in your life," Morris told Mamamia.
"The 'E' in EASY stands for lowering your expectations. So no hopes, no dreams. The most you should expect of yourself is to stand up today. Maybe. You don't have to," she explained.
"The 'A' in EASY stands for armour to arm yourself against other people. It doesn't matter what [other people] say, because it has nothing to do with you. And that will help you build your blind self-confidence. Because if there's one thing that celebrities are well known for, it's their blind self-confidence.
"The 'S' is for... stop doing all the stuff you don't want to do. And one of the ways that you can do that is to say yes to anything people ask you, and then just cancel.
"And the 'Y' is for 'Yipee!' for all the spare time you're going to have when you implement the EASY system."
Makes sense, right?
We asked Julia Morris to apply her EASY system to some of our common life problems. From questionable life hacks to... completely impractical solutions, here's what she had to say:
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Julia Morris on dealing with... passive-aggressive parents at the school gate.
"Ah, the quadrangle of judgment. Well, that's [where you use] your blind self-confidence," she said.
"Just have it in your mind that you are not only sexier than every person here, but you're more important, you're more intelligent, and you're better dressed - even if you're in a tracksuit situation. (I have been known to put a large coat over my nightie at school drop-off. It's very Pamela Anderson of me)."
Julia Morris on dealing with... career disappointment.
"Career disappointment doesn't matter, because you're going to lower your expectations in the EASY system," Morris said.
"You should just crawl your way to the middle and hide there. You don't necessarily want the extra pressure of being a CEO. Just lower all of your expectations. Let yourself off the hook," she continued.
"[We're always thinking] achieve, achieve, achieve. Nah. Let's cruise, cruise, cruise.
"My dream life is to be up on that spaceship in WALL-E, flying around on that seat drinking milkshakes. I honestly don't think it's going to get any better than that. That's the dream."
Julia Morris on dealing with... social media trolls.
"Could you meet them offline? Find out where they work and turn up. I like the idea of hunting down trolls," Morris joked.
"I mean, just the name gives us an indication as to what those people are like. Who is trolling the internet hating people? Who has the time? Maybe they've implemented the EASY system, and now they've got all that extra time to troll. Maybe I've done a terrible thing."
Listen to Julia Morris on Mamamia's No Filter podcast below. Post continues after podcast.
Julia Morris on dealing with... your co-worker's smelly lunch.
"Get out the Glen 20 for a start. That's always going to create a nice atmosphere around you. Or you can light a match," she said.
"Or you could just go into the office and... start coughing. [Then tell] everyone, 'I think I need to work from home.' Then you only have to smell your own two-minute noodles."
Julia Morris on dealing with... your teenager's TikTok obsession.
"The way that I deal with it is to ignore it. Because I figure the more time the child spends up in their bedroom doing TikTok, the more time I've got to myself," Morris said.
Julia Morris on dealing with... menopause.
"Batten down your hatches because it is nothing like you expect. I don't think that I was listening to what menopause was like when I was younger. You kind of think, 'Oh please, that's like 50 years away, whatever.' And then you're in your mid-40s and you're like, 'What was thats**tyou said last Christmas?' It is in another league," Morris said.
"I think the EASY system will suit menopausal ladies because of the fist of fury that rises up within you... well, if you think PMS is bad, standby for this absolute whirlwind."
Julia Morris Makes It EASY is available on Audible now.
Feature Image: Getty.