© Provided by Cover MediaGemma Collins
Gemma Collins has confessed dealing with on-off boyfriend James Argent's drug addiction left her feeling suicidal towards the end of their relationship.
The TOWIE star sat down for a candid chat on Piers Morgan's Life Stories, which aired on Thursday night, and became emotional when she revealed she considered taking her own life at Christmas in 2019 when her on-off boyfriend Arg hit rock bottom.
"I was really happy with James. We did get on, but the drugs changed him as a person. I fought every day for three years to get him well," the 40-year-old shared. "I have felt suicidal... I think when my relationship broke down with Arg, that affected me. I just thought, I don't wanna be here anymore. I can't take it.
"Christmas was an all-time low. I saved his life three times. I had this insatiable love for him. I never wanted to give up on him."
Her former TOWIE co-star, who she began dating in earnest in late 2017, went to Thailand at the start of 2020 to try and beat his addiction, but when he returned home, Gemma suffered a miscarriage and then the Covid-19 lockdown began and they ended up splitting up once again.
"Definitely, I would have had the baby with James," she insisted. "I know obviously he's had his struggles, but it is hard. There's a lot of love there. The relationship turned very, very sour with James when he started to do drugs."
Elsewhere in the interview, the reality TV star, who called James the "love of (her) life", got emotional when she opened up self-harming from the age of 20 after she split from a long-term boyfriend and was forced to terminate a pregnancy.
"I was desperately unhappy. It's shocking really, isn't it? I've still got scars on my wrist that I can see now. That especially, I look at that now and I see it as a sign of how far I've come," she confessed. "It was like a release. It was a coping mechanism I think, but I am well out of it now, and I never tried to revisit that."