Former Manchester United goalkeeper Roy Carroll has opened up on his battle with alcoholism and depression.
Carroll, who made 72 appearances for United over a four-year spell, revealed he would start drinking as soon as he woke up, as his life spiralled out of control.
The 42-year-old's problems started when he left United for West Ham in 2005 and then suffered a serious injury, which left him unable to play.
"I was doing the same thing every day," said Carroll. "I was getting in that little hole, and it was getting bigger and bigger.
"Because I was injured I wasn't even going into training - they told me to take two months off.
"I was getting into a routine, waking up about 10 o'clock, half-ten. Drinking when I got up, drinking at lunchtime, drinking at teatime.
"The wife and the kids would come in and I was depressed that I couldn't do anything. It was such a horrible feeling.
"My wife knew I was in a bad way. That's why I went to rehab. I didn't even know how bad I was.
"I was drinking - you name it. What was in front of me, I was drinking it. I didn't care how bad it was or how horrible it tasted, I was drinking it.
"I knew I was probably going to end up dying if I kept doing what I was doing. It was at that moment something clicked.
"I just had to change myself and I ended up going back to my wife, begging her to take me back.
"She never took me back straight away but I've stayed dry ever since. That was nine years ago and 11 months from today."
Despite being sober for nearly a decade, the former Northern Ireland international revealed he faces a daily battle with his demons.
"Sometimes I'm in the house and I can feel myself getting back into that routine, because I don't do anything during the day" said Carroll, who runs his own coaching clinic, RC1 Coaching.
"The kids are at school and I don't do coaching until after six o'clock, so I have to keep myself active.
© GETTY IMAGESRoy Carroll won the FA Cup with Manchester United in 2004
"When you have too much time on your hands, that's when you think too much. My problem was that I didn't think I had a problem."
Asked if he considered suicide, Carroll told the UTD podcast: "Who knows?
"I wouldn't like to think about what I'd have been like six months or a year down the line.
"I talk about it now because I want to help. If I can help one person, I'd be over the moon."
Carroll recently joined newly formed FC Mindwell in the Mid Ulster League, a club dedicated to helping people with mental health issues.
The 42-year-old lifted the league title with Linfield in the Irish League in 2017 and 2019.
*Roy Carroll was speaking to the official UTD Podcast. Previous episodes and exclusive video clips of them being recorded can be found on the official United app and website.