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Ain't no party like a Married at First Sight dinner party.
On Wednesday night's episode, contestants go through a make-up, a (pre) break-up, a hook-up and a moment between Mike and Jessika that will make you feel like you need to bathe in bleach.
First off, Elizabeth has seen the light and has done a runner on husband Sam, with zero explanation.
"Last night, Elizabeth decided to make more moves and tried to kiss me, I hated every second of it," Sam claims.
"She has woken up and felt very awkward ... [that] I turned her down."
Sam shows up at the dinner party late and alone with two announcements to make. One; that he has "been diagnosed with chicken pox", and two; that he has no idea where Elizabeth is.
© NineWill Matt and Lauren be the first break-up of this year's MAFS?
Meanwhile, Bronson has been telling his fellow guinea pigs that he is starting to "feel positive" about his marriage to Ines after counselling, but little does he know that Ines has "cupcakes" (her code-word for meeting up with Sam) on her mind.
In what looks like a cut-and-paste job from Dean and Davina's almost identical clandestine catch-up last year, Ines and Sam meet on a random, well-lit couch away from the others.
"When Bronson sometimes speaks, I'm like, 'Can you shut the f--- up?'" she laughs, before adding that she sometimes feels like she wants to "punch him between the eyes". (The woman needs God.)
The flirting heats up when Sam tells her she can rub his calluses and shows her his chicken pox covered abs, while she wants to "get physical" and jokes about the pair being "bed-ridden together".
"Ines has sucked me in like a vortex," he says to the camera later.
Ines tries to convince the tradie to walk back into the dinner party together as a couple, but he denies her request (no doubt to the disappointment of drama-thirsty producers), saying that they should stay with their respective partners and continue to meet in secret. So good of him. © NineInes and Sam plotting their affair.
Elsewhere, Matt is finding it difficult to cope with Lauren's revelations that she used to date women and that she enjoys swinging and threesomes, with even the experts admitting that they may have gotten the match wrong.
As he sits at the dinner party, surrounded by some of his male contestants, the source of his discomfort dawns on him. "The reason I am not able to show her the affection and the attention that she wants," he tells them suddenly, "is because I am just not attracted to her and I am not feeling those urges."
"That's why I am feeling lost because I'm trying to force something that isn't there, I have no urge to rip her clothes off and throw her on the bed." © Nine/Nigel WrightMatt and Lauren in happier times - on their wedding day.
Since he decided to have this conversation about two feet away from Lauren, she overhears and confronts him, but he doesn't back down.
"I'm not feeling the physical pull," he says.
"I feel a bit used," she tells him. "Did you just use me to lose your virginity?"
Later in a piece-to-camera, Lauren cries. "I'm not asking for much," she says. "I just want someone to love me."
Whether they will stay together or decide to leave remains to be seen at Sunday's commitment ceremony.
Jessika and Mick's relationship has been going from strength to strength, but unlike many of the other couples, they're yet to have sex because, according to Jessika, they are being "respectful of each other".
For some reason this bothers Mike, husband of Heidi, and he tells Jessika as much.
"[If you wait too long] the pond stagnates," he says.
He adds: "If this doesn't happen sooner or later then you may go your separate ways."
As the couples eventually sit down to dinner, Cyrell and Nic end up having a huge fight because Nic apparently didn't show Cyrell enough attention during the cocktail party. She threatens to leave the experiment altogether.
"She's so demanding," comments Dr Trisha Stratford.
Is this another match she and her fellow experts are starting to regret? We'll see on Sunday.
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